Memories of Us
by Sugarbear16
Summary: What would you do if you if everything you have ever known was erased? With no memory of her past, or who she was before this day, Kensi must count on the ones she loves to remind her who she is.
1. Chapter 1

**Memories of Us**

What would you do if you woke up one day and suddenly everything you knew was gone? For Kensi that is exactly what happened. Every memory she had ever had of him, every thought, every touch, everything, it was gone. It was erased like footprints in the sand without a trace. She tried so hard to remember, she wanted to remember, but there was no past memory she could recall, there was nothing but darkness. Her life before today didn't exist.

Deeks rushed into the ER, with Callen and Sam close behind him showing their badges to anyone who stood in their way of getting to her.

" Kensi Blye, where is she?" Deeks asked the nurse.

"Are you her family?" The nurse asked.

"Damn right we are." Sam added.

"Come with me." The nurse said as she led the three men down the hall. The colors on the walls were awful. The cream color on it looked like it hadn't been painted since the late 80's. Everything here was bright and clean, and terrifying Deeks thought to himself as they made their wall down the hallway towards her room.

"Is she ok?" Callen asked.

"When she was brought in here she was pretty messed up. She has several cracked ribs, several deeps cuts that had to be stitched up, one on the palm of her hand, the other on her left side. Her right leg is broken." The nurse explained.

"Why do I feel like that is not even the worst of it?" Callen asked.

"Its not. She has psychogenic amnesia." The nurse said.

Thos words quickly grabbed his attention. Deeks exhaled and ran his hand through his shaggy blonde hair. "What does that even me?" He questioned.

"Psychogenic amnesia is the inability to retrieve stored memories leading up to the event that caused this. She knows who she is, and where she is, but her past, it doesn't exist. Any events from here forward she can remember." The nurse explained.

"So everything that has ever happened to her has never happened in her mind?" Deeks asked.

"Yes." The nurse answered.

Deeks looked liked he was literally going to be sick. He couldn't form words, there were so many things he wanted to know, but right now he just couldn't process his thoughts. Sam seemed to understand where Deeks mind had gone, so he stepped up.

"Will her memory ever come back?" Sam asked.

"More then likely yes. As to when that we don't know. Sometimes with these cases its weeks, sometimes months, we have even seen one get their memory back after almost eight years."

"So what do we do for her?" Deeks questioned.

"Tell her who she is. Most often the people who spend the most time with family and friends tend to retrieve their memory quicker. If she remembers one thing, one event, it could trigger her memory to return in full. Start from the beginning so she will understand how you know her, work your way up from there. Be patient with her, not knowing anything its difficult. Sometimes patients get very angry at the world or themselves when they have know knowledge of their own life. You all can see her, she is awake and doing well." The nurse informed them.

Deeks reached for door knob of her room, he turned to Sam and Callen before he opened it. Both of the senior agents nodded their heads in encouragement for him to continue. He gathered all his remaining courage and pushed the door open. Kensi was laying with her head facing the window when they had entered the room. All three of the men lined up, standing at the foot of her bed.

Deeks moved forwards first making his way around the side of her bed. "Kensi." he whispered softly.

Kensi turned her head in the direction of Deeks when she heard her name whispered to her. When her eyes met his she was greeted with the most stunning blue eyes she had ever seen before. Though the this man standing beside her bed was unfamiliar to her, something in his eyes captivated her, there was something there that was almost familiar to her.

"Who are you?" She asked confused.

**A/N: What do you think? This story will contain flash backs as Deeks and the rest of the team tell Kensi the story of her life. I would love to hear what you guys think about this idea. **


	2. Chapter 2

Deeks felt his heart start racing, he felt everything he knew slipping away from him as she spoke those words.

"I'm Sam, this is Deeks, and Callen is down there on the end." Sam explained.

"Are we related?" Kensi questioned looking to Callen and Deeks.

"No. Not exactly everybody here is family, just no blood. We all work together." Sam said.

"Work. Right. So who is my partner?" Kensi asked.

"You remember work?" Deeks asked hopeful.

"No." Kensi said reaching over grabbing her NCIS badge off the table next to her and showing it to the boys. "They gave me this. They thought it might help me remember something." She explained.

For a while the room fell in silence, nobody was exactly sure what to say. This was Kensi, their Kensi, and today no one knew what to say to her. Deeks broke first.

"You want some coffee?" He asked Kensi.

"Sure."

"We will go get it." Sam spoke up knowing what Deeks was trying to do.

When Sam and Callen turned to leave the room, Deeks mouthed a silent "Thank you" to Sam. Once the door was shut, Deeks turned his attention to Kensi.

"So, I take it you're my partner then?" She questioned.

"What makes you say that?"

"You're the one that is here."

"Yeah, I am your partner. It's complicated." Deeks said.

"It always is isn't it." She said with a smile.

Deeks smiled at her, as he sat down in the chair beside her bed.

"So tell me partner, who the hell am I?"

Deeks wanted to tell her she was everything, she was his best friend, the love of his life, his reason for living, but he knew this would only scare her right now. Remembering what the nurse said about starting from the beginning he laughed, "You're my Fern." He said with a smile.

"I'm your what?" Kensi asked with her nose scrunched up.

At this reaction Deeks couldn't help but laugh, "You had that same reaction only a little more angrier the first time we had this conversation." Deeks said.

_(Flashback) _

_Kensi came storming back into to OSP after they had left the club that night. She was aggravated, annoyed and ready to get out of these clothes. Sam turned, his attention to Callen and Deeks who were trailing not far behind a very pissed off Kensi. _

"_What is her problem?" Sam asked his partner ,as he walked from behind his desk to meet the other two in the center of the bullpen. Callen smiled and pointed his finger at Deeks. _

_Sam chuckled, "I know your new around here and all, but I am gonna give you some good advice temp." Sam put his hand on Deeks shoulder, "Never piss her off. She will end you" Sam said before walking off. Deeks turned to Callen with a confused look on his face._

"_Is he seriously scared of Kensi?" Deeks questioned._

"_And you should be too if you know what is good for you."_

"_She is just a girl how much damage can she do?" _

"_See that right there my friend is your first mistake. I have seen her take down men twice her size. I would fix this, or she will fix you." Callen said, walking off and leaving Deeks alone with his thoughts. _

_Standing there in the middle of the bullpen he thought about what the senior agents said to him, and decided maybe he should fix things with Ms. Deadly Assassin before he was next on her list. _

"_Come on, you cant still be mad at me?" Deeks called out to Kensi, who was still behind the curtain changing out of her clothes from the op at the night club._

"_Wanna bet." Kensi said, sticking her head out from behind the curtain to yell at him. _

"_Really? This is how its gonna be?" _

"_Looks like it." Kensi said, as she stormed out of the changing room she was just in._

"_Kensi, come on all of this just because I called you Fern?"_

_Kensi was so mad she almost growled her annoyance with the blonde cop._

"_I'm mean seriously all the names out there and Fern is what you decided to call me?"_

"_Fern is a beautiful plant." _

_Kensi crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. _

"_Lilly, Rose, Violet, Jasmine, hell even Daisy." Kensi said listing them off on her fingers, "But you, you have to go and chose Fern." Kensi explained._

"_Oh my God." Deeks said with a huge grin on his face._

"_What? What oh my God?" Kensi questioned, putting both hands on her hips now._

_Deeks pointed his finger at Kensi like she was a little girl in trouble, "You liked it, that is why you are so mad." _

"_You're infuriating. I cant even argue right with you, its like talking to a brick wall." Kensi said as she grabbed her bag off her desk, and headed out of the mission._

"_Good night Fern." Deeks shouted to her. _

_(End flashback) _

When Deeks looked up to meet her eyes, she was smiling.

"You sound like a real pain in the ass." She said.

"She may have lost her memory but I see that since of humor stayed." Deeks responded.

"Thank you." Kensi said.

"For what?"

"For not treating me like a baby. Its comforting to have a normal conversation with someone who doesn't try to act all guarded about what they say. People have been walking on eggshells around me. I cant stand it." She explained.

"You never could."

"Seems like you know a lot about me." Kensi said.

"I know everything about you."

"Everything?" Kensi questioned like she didn't believe him.

"I know your favorite color, your favorite movie, your favorite food, I know you cant sing to save your life but that has never stopped you. You cant cook in fact its better if you just avoid kitchens all together. I know about your tattoo, about your father, I know about your cat you had when you were 12 years old. I know how you got that cut on the bottom of your left foot. I know you're the best shot at the firing range at work. You're stubborn, aggressive, deadly, and your since of humor sucks. I know all about you Kensalina." Deeks explained.

Kensi stared at Deeks dumbfounded for a moment, she didn't expect him to know her so well. She didn't expect any of this. Somehow, she just knew that if anybody was going to help her find her way out of this darkness, and back into the land of the light it was going to be him. Her memory of her past may be nonexistent, but her instincts and her heart were telling her all she needed to know at the moment. She debated on her next move for a few minuets, while she nervously twisted the blanket on the bed between her fingers. Deeks caught on to her nervous fidgeting, and ever so gently he placed his hand on top of hers. Kensi instantly felt the electricity from his touch run through her, she looked up meeting his sad blue eyes, "Help me remember please." She begged almost on the verge of tears.

Deeks forced a shy smile and with a nod of his head he replied, "I will be with you every step of the way."

**A/N: Hope you all liked this let me know what you think. If there is a certain memory you would like to see be told let me know.**


	3. Chapter 3

Deeks anxiously made his was towards Kensi's hospital room, with the bag of take out he had stopped and got them for dinner after leaving work. Once he had made it to her door he quietly entered just in case she was asleep. To his surprise she was sitting up flipping through random channels on the tv. As soon as she noticed it was Deeks there and not another nurse to drive her insane her face instantly lit up like a child on Christmas.

"Hi." She said.

"Hey. I brought dinner. I thought maybe by now you were getting sick of the fine dinning that they offer here at the hospital."

Kensi chuckled at this, "A girl can only eat this wonderful cuisine for so long."

"Have no fear, I come bringing everything you will ever need in life." Deeks said sitting the take out bags down on the table. Reaching into the first bag he pulled out a carton of Chinese take out and handed it over to Kensi.

"That smells so good." She said taking the offered container out of his hands. "What is it?" She asked as she impatiently started to open the carton of take out.

"Your favorite. I promise." He explained as he turned back to the bag. "Now if you're a good girl and eat all your dinner with out arguing, and I know you will by the way I have brought dessert."

"What is for desert?" Kensi asked, taking in another bite of her delicious dinner Deeks had provided her with.

"Another one of Kensi's favorites." Deeks said as he retrieved a carton of Rocky Road ice cream and two spoons.

"Now, that right there my friend has potential." She said cheerfully.

It didn't take Kensi long to inhale her dinner. Once the two partners had finished their take out, they moved onto the ice cream. Deeks grabbed the carton and the two spoons, and headed over to sit by Kensi. He sat in the chair next to her bed, he placed the ice cream between them, and handed her a spoon.

"So what are we watching?" Deeks asked.

"I don't know I could find anything I liked. Then again I don't even know what I like so.." Deeks reached over her and changed the channel. When he was settled on something Kensi would watch, he sat back down in the chair by her bedside.

"Watch this, you will like it I swear." Deeks replied as he turned on Burnt Offerings.

A few minuets into the show Kensi turned her attention to Deeks. He was sitting in the chair at her side, his arm propped up on the side of her bed with his face resting in his hand.

"Thank you for dinner."

Leaving his head resting in his hand he turned slightly so he could see her face, "You welcome. You're my partner its my job to make sure you don't starve."

"Is that some kind of rule in our handbook, don't let partner starve?" She joked.

"Nope. It's your rule actually." Deeks explained.

_(Flashback in the safe house Hetty sent Deeks to in Human Traffic) _

_Kensi waited outside the door for him to let her in. Slowly opening the door, there he stood. His face was scratched up, his eye a little bruised from the explosion he had told Hetty about. Kensi shook her head trying to remember what it was that brought her here in the first place, looking down to all the bags she forgot she had been carrying she remembered her purpose. _

"_Hi! Can I come in?" She asked._

"_Yeah, of course. Sorry." Deeks said as he opened the door further to let her in. He reached out taking some bags she had been holding to lighten the burden on her. _

"_What is with all the bags?" Deeks asked as they made their way into the kitchen of the safe house. _

"_Hetty." _

"_Hetty sent you to bring me…ice cream." Deeks said as he pulled a carton from the bag._

"_No! And that is mine by the way." Kensi said as she snatched the ice cream out of his hand. _

"_So? Hetty uh?" Deeks asked still confused. _

"_Yep. She said you might have to sit here a while till we can get this all figured out. She said the safe house needed food so…" _

"_So you being the woman in the group volunteered to go shopping for me?" _

"_First of all me being a woman has nothing to do with this. Second, I don't volunteer to shop ever for anyone. Third, you're my partner now so its kind of my job to make sure you don't starve." Kensi explained. _

_Deeks leaned his back against the wall near the back door as he watched her move around the kitchen like she owned the place. _

"_Nice!" Deeks said with a cocky grin. "Does this mean your gonna cook us dinner and baby sit me till I can leave the safe house?" He asked hopeful. _

"_Baby sit, yes. Cook, not in this lifetime. I don't cook ever." Kensi explained with an amused grin, "Besides, I bought it you can cook it." _

_Deeks laughed, "So that is how this partnership is going to go?" _

"_Yep. You get to cook and I get to drive and we will get along fine." Kensi explained. She turned just before she was about to leave the kitchen, looking back over her shoulder she added, "Maybe" and with a grin she proceeded into the living room._

_Deeks smiled, "This should be fun." _

_(End flashback)_

"See it was always you who insisted we make sure each other not starve." Deeks explained.

"How very thoughtful of me." Kensi added.

"Maybe. Maybe you just didn't want me to starve cause you liked me."

"Or maybe I just didn't want you to die of starvation before I had the chance to kill you myself." She added with her sassiness that was always Kensi.

Kensi loved being around Deeks. She didn't have any memory but being around him seemed natural. Everything they did just seemed to be a natural part of who she was. Arguing with him, talking to him, trusting him, it was almost as if all of these had been genetically embedded into her DNA. He would stay with her long into the night before she finally started drifting off to sleep. He would tell her goodnight with the promise he would see her the next day. His promise of his return was the only she had to look forward to these days.

**A/N: Wow! Thank you for all the support on this story idea. I have so many ideas for this story. Thank you to those who have shared the memory they want to see written into this story. The next chapter memory will be from Deliverance when Deeks rescues Kensi as requested. Please tell me what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

Sadly for Kensi, it had been almost a week since Deeks last visit with her. He called her every night to check on her, but with all the cases they had been working lately he just hadn't been able to get free. Today he left work after lunch, and told Hetty that he was spending the rest of the afternoon with Kensi.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" The nurse asked just before Deeks entered Kensi room.

"Yeah absolutely." Deeks said. He followed the nurse of to the side away from the door to her room. He put his hands in his front pockets, as he waited nervously for the nurse to say something.

"Her ribs are healing up nicely. Her leg however, we have concerns about it. It was broken in two places so we need to get her moving on it. If we don't get her to try and move around, walking is going to be difficult if not impossible when her cast comes off." The nurse explained to Deeks.

"What do you need me to do?" He asked.

"We took her down to the psychical therapy room earlier and tried to get her motivated to walk, but she had no desire to do it. She tried for about three minuets and gave up. I thought maybe you could be more motivating then one of us. Get her to walk even if its just for ten minuets. If she can do this, we can let her go home. She would still have to work with her leg, and see the psychologist for her memory, but being at home around something familiar it may help with her memory." The nurse explained.

"Done." Deeks said, as he turned and headed back towards Kensi's room.

Deeks entered her room this time to find her sitting in the chair next to the window. She appeared to be deep in thought about something, maybe she was daydreaming of a happier place, maybe she was trying desperately to remember who she was, and just maybe she was thinking about him, Deeks thought to himself.

"Good afternoon Sunshine." Deeks said.

"Hi." She whispered softly not bothering to move, or to look at him. He walked over to Kensi and sat down in the chair opposite of her.

"What is with the sour face princess?" He questioned.

"What is there to be happy about?"

"There is always something to be happy about. How about we get out of here for a little while? Want to take a stroll and get some fresh air?" Deeks questioned.

She turned her gaze from the window so she could look at her partner. She felt awful, depressed, and angry, but as soon as she met his eyes she couldn't help but smile.

"Ok." She agreed.

"Fantastic!" Deeks said. He stood up from his chair he was currently occupying, to retrieve the wheel chair on the other side of the room. Returning to Kensi he offered his hand to her. She took his hand and allowed him to pull her up from one chair and help her into the other.

Deeks and Kensi wondered down the halls of the hospital until he reached the door around the side, that would lead them out into the court yard. Kensi squinted her eyes at the bright light of mid afternoon. It had been so long since she had been outside, and out from the confined walls of the hospital that was currently holding her prisoner. The court yard wasn't too bad, she thought to herself, it was definitely better then being inside all day. There were six grey cement tables with matching benches, and one bench right under the Evergreen Tree in the middle of the courtyard. The weather outside today was perfect, it wasn't hot and humid, and there was a gentle breeze blowing that was refreshing to Kensi.

"It's a beautiful day out here today Kensalina." Deeks said.

"Sorry, your stuck here with me." Kensi said sadly. Deeks stopped them just before they had reached their destination. He kneeled down in front of her, so that they were face to face with each other, "I'm not stuck. I am here by choice." Deeks explained.

"I feel like you're here to baby sit just because I am your partner." Kensi explained.

"Kens", he said reaching out and taking her hand out of her lap, "Look at me please." he placed two fingers under her chin, and gently brought her face up so he could look into her eyes. "I am here because I need to be here. I need you to be better, I need you to remember who you are, and right now, right now I need you to walk for me."

"I cant. I tried I cant." Kensi said.

"You can, I know you can. You're the bravest woman in this world. Besides you haven't tried for me. Forget the nurses, forget what they want, I want you to do this for me please. Trust me." He said offering his hands to her.

"How am I suppose to trust you when I don't even know myself?"

"You have always trusted me since the day you put your life in my hands." Deeks explained.

(_Flashback) _

_She was standing there in the middle of the room filled with laser beams. His heart started pounding in his chest when he saw his partner trapped in there. Should he call the bomb squad? Should he try and get them out of there on his own? That was the mental debate that was going on his head right now. Deeks had never seen Kensi so terrified as she was now. _

"_Deeks please, I cant stay here any longer." She begged._

_In that instant his decision was made. The pleading sound in her voice nearly broke him. To see his tough as nails partner so terrified, so helpless, it was more then he could take. One by one he helped her fight the beams, as she flexibly moved her body around, and under them. Then she came to the final one. There was no way around it, no possible escape. Deeks put his gun away, and reached his hands out to her. _

"_Are you sure?" Kensi asked. _

"_No." Deeks said honestly. _

_Without a second thought Kensi placed her hands in her partners. They counted to two, and when they made it to three, Deeks pulled her out of that room and towards his body with as much force as he could mange. The building exploded around them. _

"_You ok?" Deeks asked brushing the hair out of Kensi's face. _

"_I gotta pee." _

"_I think I just did." Deeks explained laughing. _

_(End flashback) _

"You trusted me that day to get you back from the Russians trust me now. Even though we both hit the ground that day, we did it together. And if you fall today, guess what? I will break your fall. I promise. So lets to do this, I want to see you get of here Kens, and I know you want to go home. Do you trust me?" Deeks asked again offering both hands to Kensi like he had that day she was in the laser room. Determined and motivated, Kensi took his hands and he helped her to her feet.

"Don't let me fall." Kensi replied.

"I wont ever let you fall Kens." Deeks responded.

Slowly, on shaky legs Kensi held onto Deeks with everything she had. He began taking a few steps back leading Kensi towards the tree in the middle of the court yard. He knew this was going to be painful for her until she got use to standing on her leg again, he knew this was going to be a journey that would take time to over come. He knew she would make it, and he knew with out a doubt he would be there to make sure she did. Kensi's breathing began to get ragged the further they pushed on.

"Your doing great Kens, almost there." He encouraged her. Three more steps and they made it to the tree.

"I did it." Kensi said, as she leaned her now very tired body against the trunk of the tree.

"You did." He replied, "Now I think someone has earned herself some ice cream. Do you want to go get some before we head back to the room?"

"If you know everything about me, you already know the answer to that."

"Touche Kensalina." He replied with a grin.

**A/N: You guys are amazing, I love all the reviews you all have been leaving on this story. Thank you so much. To answer a questions I received, the memories will not be in order as far as episodes they will fit in to the current situation Kensi is going through.**


	5. Chapter 5

Deeks walked into Kensi's room that morning only to find it empty. Her nurse was in the process of cleaning things up from what Deeks could tell.

"Good morning Detective." The older woman said when she noticed Deeks in the doorway. The nurses around here came to know Deeks on a first names bases, they almost knew him as well as they did Kensi. After all, every moment he had was spent here by her side.

"Good morning Mary. Where is are girl at today?" Deeks asked.

The older woman laughed, as she placed a pillow back on the bed. "She is down in the physical therapy room. You can go get her if you like, I was just on my way down there myself to get her when I finished up in here." Mary explained.

"Great, I will go and get her." Deeks said cheerfully.

Deeks headed towards the physical therapy room to go a retrieve his most prized possession.

"You did great today, but I think you should try and push yourself a little harder. I know you're capable of so much more." The young blonde said to Kensi.

"I did what I could." Kensi said shortly. Her patience with this woman was about at an end.

"You have to stay positive, attitude like that wont get you anywhere."

Kensi had about all of this woman she could take. She was blonde, she was pushy, and she was on Kensi's last ever loving nerves. Kensi bit her lip to try and keep from saying something ugly to this girl, but she was really getting to her. As soon as the woman introduced herself to Kensi she hated her automatically, she just couldn't figure out why.

"Lets try one more thing before your time is up."

"No, I'm done." Kensi said.

"Your negativity is really not helping."

"Look lady if you don't leave me the hell alone my negativity is going to be the least of your problems." Kensi snapped to the blonde.

Kensi turned away from the woman, and when she looked up from the floor her eyes met Deeks. He was leaning against the door frame with a rather amused look on his face. When he met Kensi's eyes he moved in her direction with his glorious smile lighting up the entire room.

"Morning Tiger." Deeks said, reaching his hand down to Kensi to help her up from her current position.

"Morning." She said taking his hand, and allowing him to help her up.

"What did Barbie wanna be do to you?" Deeks asked gesturing with his head to the nurse Kensi had just snapped at. Kensi sat down on the bench Deeks helped her to. She reached over grabbing her water bottle, taking a sip she turned to look at the woman in question.

"I don't know. Something about her just rubs me the wrong way."

Deeks laughed, "Is she new or something I haven't seen her before? And lets face it I spend almost as much time here as you do."

"Yep Monica, just transferred in from San Diego last week." Kensi explained.

"Monica?" Deeks asked.

"Yeah, that is wanna be Barbie's name." Kensi said turning to smile at her partner.

"Alrighty then. I am about to go tell her that I have permission to take you back to your room from Mary."

"Thank God." Kensi said putting her lid back on her water bottle.

Kensi watched as Deeks strolled over to Monica. Just as soon as he made to her, the blonde started with the goofy grin, and the hair flips. Kensi had secretly planed three ways to kill her in the next ten minuets. Kensi felt rage boiling inside of her as she watched this woman flirt with her partner. What are you thinking he isn't even yours? Kensi thought to herself as she watched this scene play out in front of her. After about five minuets Deeks came back over to her.

"I will be right back princess then we can go." Deeks said to Kensi.

Kensi nodded her head in agreement to Deeks, as he headed over to the other side of the room. She watched Monica out of the corner of her eye laugh with two of her friends talking about Deeks. Kensi couldn't hear what they were saying, but for some reason she could read her lips as she asked questions of I wonder, about Deeks to her two friends. "I wonder what he does for a living? I wonder if he has a girlfriend?" She lip read the girls saying.

"He will be right back he just went to get the wheelchair for you, so he can take you back to your room." Monica said.

Monica turned her back to Kensi and was about to walk off before Kensi stopped her, "Sorry honey he is with me. His name is Marty Deeks, he is a cop and he is my partner." Kensi explained.

Monica turned back to Kensi, "You sure trust what he is telling you don't you?" She asked sincere.

Kensi looked up to see Deeks headed across the room to her. Kensi turned her attention back to Monica, "I trust him with everything." She admit to her.

"I hope he helps you find what it is you need to be whole again." Monica said before she turned and walked away from Kensi.

Deeks approached Kensi somewhat cautiously, "You good?" Deeks asked.

"I'm good if you're good." Kensi replied.

"I'm good."

"Good. Now that that's been cleared up can we go?" Kensi asked.

"You bet." Deeks said. Moving towards Kensi he took her by the arm, and put one hand on her hip as he helped from the bench to the wheelchair.

Her strength was starting to come back to her once she started moving around. If it had not been for Deeks motivation god only knows she would have never made it this far. Her leg was still painful at times, but she was just grateful she was able to somewhat began to move around again. Next week Kensi had agreed to start seeing Nate. Deeks had told her how helpful he had been in the past, and that she had trusted him. If Deeks trusted him that was good enough for her. Right now, Deeks was the only thing that felt familiar to her.

**A/N: Thank you for all these fabulous reviews, and for your thoughts and ideas for the story. This chapter was an idea suggested by one my readers, I hope you liked it. Please leave a review. **


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, Deeks…" Kensi started excitedly when she heard her door open. "Oh, hi." Kensi said, when she realized it wasn't Deeks here this time to see her.

"Hello Mrs. Blye. Sorry I am not who you expected." Hetty replied with a grin as she made her way over towards her female agent.

Kensi smiled somewhat embarrassed at her obviousness to want to see her partner. She wanted to ask where Deeks was, and why he wasn't here, but at the same time she didn't want to seem desperate.

"How are you feeling today?" Hetty asked.

"Doing as good as I can be. I will be a lot better when I know who I am. Its hard listening to your life as a story and not a memory." Kensi explained.

"Life is one giant story Ms. Blye, and something tells me that you don't need your memory to guide you."

"Why would you say that?" Kensi asked.

"History Mrs. Blye, it always repeats itself. Either in a good way or a bad way." Hetty explained. She approached Kensi, pulling a recorder out of her purse and laid it on the table next to her. "Last year this was recorded in the boatshed." Hetty said pointing down to the device she had just placed on the table.

Kensi looked at Hetty skeptically for a moment before picking the recorder up. "Your partner will be back in the morning to see you, he had an overnight stakeout." Hetty explained.

"Hetty." Kensi called out before she left her room.

"Yes, Mrs. Blye."

"Why did you give me this?" Kensi questioned, holding the recorder up to emphasize what she was talking about.

"The hospital has agreed to let you go home tomorrow. Despite your memory they are satisfied with how you're healing. The only condition is they wont let you leave on your own due to your memory, they want you released to someone. The choice is completely up to you who that someone will be. I will be more then happy to be that person myself if need be Mrs. Blye, but there is someone you trust more then me, more then anyone, someone you care about a great deal. Listen to the tape Mrs. Blye, you have until the morning to decide." Hetty explained.

Hetty left the room, leaving Kensi alone with her thoughts. She sat there with the recorder in her hand as she thought about what Hetty had told her. Deeks had told her about Hetty, and the rest of the team for that matter. Right now that was all she had to go on. What the hell, she thought to herself as she pressed play.

_(Recording Kensi listens to)_

"_Promise me you will never do that." Kensi said._

"_Do what?' _

"_Get yourself killed." _

"_Good news for you is I happen to have a natural aversion to death." Deeks replied. _

"_I'm not kidding." _

"_Ok."_

"_Ok." _

"_If I am killed in the line of duty do me a favor?"_

"_Yeah." Kensi said. _

"_Have cryogenically frozen and put me in your living room." Deeks said. _

"_What would I do with you in the living room?" _

"_You're right the bedroom is much more intimate." _

"_Good night." Kensi said laughing. _

"_You smell like Sunshine." Deeks shouted, "And gunpowder, two of my favorite things." He whispers._

_(End Recording) _

"Sunshine and gunpowder." Kensi said to herself.

She smiled even though there was no one around to see it. She was happy even though she had no memory of it. She was his sunshine, and this pleased her more then she would ever admit.

**A/N: Thank you, for these reviews they are so great. Please tell me what you all think, I really loving hearing your thoughts and ideas. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Ok first off thank you for all the fantastic reviews they have made my day. Secondly, the flashback in this chapter is a memory that I made up not one that ever happened, it will be labeled where it fits in it the show when it gets to the flashback. Hope you enjoy this, let me know what you all think. **

"I bet you're so glad to be going home." Nell said. Nell had came in that morning to help Kensi pack her things, and get ready so she could leave the hospital. Kensi enjoyed having Nell around, she was almost as easy for her to talk to as Deeks.

"Its just another place I am sure I wont remember." Kensi said bitterly.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Is your mom going to come take you home?" Nell asked.

"No she is not." Kensi dropped her hair, she had in her hands in frustration, "Damn it." She cursed. Holding her hands above her head trying to twist her hair into a pony tail put more strain on her bruised ribs that were still sore.

Nell walked behind Kensi, taking the brush from her hands, and finishing what Kensi had started. "Does your mom know your going home today?" Nell asked. She gathered Kensi's long dark hair in her hands, then pulled back into a ponytail like her friend had been previously trying to do.

"Yeah. Deeks told her last night, she called after I was asleep." Kensi explained.

"There you go." Nell said as she finished her hair. "How is it going with your mom?" Nell questioned as she sat down beside Kensi.

"Sadly, she is just another person I don't remember. Its hard talking to her, I mean I know I don't know her obviously, I don't know anyone anymore, but its like I don't know her. Not like I do you, and Deeks." Kensi explained.

"That is because you don't." Nell explained.

"I don't know my own mother? What kind of person am I?" Kensi questioned.

"The kind that follows her heart. Deeks can tell you the story better then I can he was there with you. I am sure there are things you told him that you didn't tell the rest of us." Nell said with a smile. "Do you want this out to wear?" Nell asked holding up the hoodie to Kensi. Kensi reached over taking it out of Nell's hands. Of course the fact that this hoodie in question was Deeks did not go unnoticed by Nell.

"So tell me something I did tell you. Please." Kensi pleaded with her friend.

_(Flashback set after then end of Blye K pt 2)_

_Today had been a ridiculously long and stressful day. She had finally gotten the answers she had been seeking for years. She had her closure, but she still felt empty, she still felt alone. After leaving her mother's house that night she got into her car and started driving. She didn't know where she was going, she just knew she wasn't going home. Watching the lights of the city outside, she let her mind wonder over the days events. She had found the man responsible for killing her father, got shot in the ribs (even though it was through a vest it still hurt like hell), she spoke to her mother for the first time in fifteen years, this had most definitely been one hell of a day. _

_She hadn't realized where she had been driving to, until she was sitting outside parked in his driveway. She didn't know if she should go to the door, or spend the whole night in her car waiting to take him to work in the morning. "Screw it" she thought to herself as she climbed out of her SUV and made her way to his front door. _

_It was after midnight, when a soft knock came to his door. He didn't have to wonder who would be coming by at this time of night. He didn't have to call out to ask who it was. He already knew who it was, and he already knew what they wanted. Pulling himself out of bed, he made his way down the hall to the front door. Slowly, he opened the door, and there she was just like he knew she would be. _

"_I..I" She tried to explain her reasons for showing up there so late, but her brain was refusing to work with her at the moment._

_Stepping back he opened the door, motioning her into the house._

"_I would have stopped and got something for us to eat, but everything is mostly closed. So." _

"_Its fine Kens. Sit down." Deeks said gesturing to the couch. _

"_It was really strange to see my mother again." She admitted. She took her jacket off and threw it on the back of the couch. She had always felt comfortable making herself at home at his place. _

"_Was your mom freaked out by everything that went on today?" Deeks questioned. _

"_No. Not really." _

"_How did it go? I imagine making up for 15 lost years isn't an easy thing to do in one night." _

"_It went as well as can be expected." _

"_Kens, you have to stop with the one liners here, if you want to talk." _

"_I don't." Kensi said._

"_Then why did you come here?" He asked._

"_Because I don't want to be alone right now, and you're the only person I trust." Kensi stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. _

"_You will never be alone when I am around." Deeks said. He didn't know where the words came from but before he even had a chance to filter what he was going to say the words just came tumbling out of his mouth on their own. _

_Kensi yawned, Deeks laughed, "Come on, time for bed." He said standing up from the couch. Deeks reached his hand out to Kensi. She looked up at him like he had gone completely insane. _

"_You said you trusted me right?" He asked. _

"_Yes." She said taking his hand. Deeks led her down the hallway to his bedroom. Once they had reached the door, they stood there facing each other for what seemed like forever Kensi thought._

"_Go on." Deeks said._

_Kensi made a confused face, and this earned a honest to God laugh from Deeks._

"_Your ribs are sore, there is no way you're sleeping on the couch. Take the bed." He explained to her. _

_Kensi leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek._

"_Thank you." _

"_Your welcome Princess." He said as he turned and headed back down the hallway towards the living room. She debated with herself for a moment before finally deciding she needed him, she needed comfort from the one person she trusted most in this world. Gathering her courage up she called out to him._

"_Deeks." She said just before he made it to the end of the hall. He stopped and turned his attention back to Kensi. "Stay with me." She whispered. _

_Deeks tilted his head to the side as if he was trying to make the most important decision of his life. _

"_Please, just for tonight, I don't want to be lonely." _

_Deeks saw the fear and desperation in Kensi eyes, he could hear it in her voice. Breaking the serious side of things Deeks returned to humor to make Kensi feel more comfortable, "Ok fine just tonight Fern, but I'm telling you no funny business." _

_Kensi laughed, "Please, I think can resist you." _

"_You say that now, but when you have me in bed, the place you have always wanted me most, you might be singing a different song princess." He explained following Kensi into his bedroom. She rolled her eyes at him, as she climbed in the right side of his bed. Slowly, Deeks followed her lead and crawled in the opposite side of the bed. _

_Kensi laid with her back facing him. Deeks thought about his next move carefully as he did not want to become Kensi next target for shooting practice. He rolled to his side wrapping his arms around her waist and brining her body back against him. Kensi opened her mouth to say something, to protest, but once his arms were around her, everything that seemed relevant she was about to say suddenly didn't matter. She exhaled and let herself relax in the comforting arms of her partner. _

"_Good night Deeks." She whispered. _

"_Good night sugarbear." He said before closing his eyes. _

_(End flashback)_

"You told me he talked you into seeing your mother. That if wasn't for him you would have never gone that night. He put your life back together, he found that missing piece you said you have always felt like you were missing. Kens, I would bet anything he can help you find it again." Nell explained to her friend.

"Nell, do I…" Kensi started but was cut off when Deeks entered the room.

"Hello ladies!" Deeks said.

"Hi Deeks. I will see you later Kens. I will come by and check on you." Nell said.

"Thank you Nell." Kensi replied.

Nell smiled at Deeks, as she exited the room leaving the two partner alone once again.

"So what were you two talking about?" Deeks asked as he helped Kensi to her crutches that she was now able to walk with.

"None of your business." She said with a cocky grin.

"Please, like I don't know you two were talking about yours truly." He said pointing his finger to his own chest.

"Please. You think everything is about you? No sorry, I do have others thing to talk to Nell about." Kensi explained.

Deeks grabbed Kensi bag from by the door, as they made their way out of the hospital room that had become Kensi's home for the past three weeks.

"I am sure you do. I can only imagine the things you have told her about me." Deeks said with a wink to Kensi.

"Oh dear Lord." Kensi mumbled to herself.

"No worries darling, I.."

"If you finish that sentence I am going to disable you with my crutches."

"Fair enough." Deeks said with a chuckle. "Now lets get you home, so I can make dinner. Besides I have surprise waiting for you at your house." Deeks explained.

"What is it?"

"Now, if I told you that it wouldn't be a surprise now would it."


	8. Chapter 8

Deeks unlocked the front door to Kensi's house, making his way inside he dropped her bags by the door. Once he had emptied his hands he returned to the SUV to make sure Kensi could make it on her own. He didn't want to hover over her like she was a cripple, he knew better then anyone how it felt to be treated like you were incapable of doing anything just cause you were injured.

"You got it?" Deeks asked, as Kensi maneuvered herself on her crutches.

"So far." Kensi said proudly.

He followed close behind her to make sure she didn't fall. Once she made it inside the door, she stood in the middle of her living room. She looked at the pictures on the walls, the colors of the room, the furniture, the movies, all of this was suppose to be her, but none of it she remembered. After deciding she recognized nothing she made her way over to the couch to sit down.

"Anything look familiar?" Deeks asked.

"No." She replied.

"It takes time. Anyways now, I will be right back." Deeks said as he walked down the hallway. As Kensi watched Deeks walked down the hall of her house, it occurred to her she didn't know anything about her house. She didn't even know where her own bedroom was she thought sadly to herself. Deeks opened the last door on the left, "Come on she is home." He said. That was all it took for one very excited dog to come bolting down the hallway towards Kensi. When he reached the couch he jumped on it, and laid his head happily in her lap, looking up to her with his puppy dog eyes.

"Hi." Kensi said cheerfully as she loved on the dog. "What is your name buddy?" .

"This is Monty." Deeks explained.

Deeks watched as Kensi giggled and played with the dog who was currently licking her face to death. Kensi turned to Deeks, while she scratched Monty behind his ears. "Is he my dog or your dog?" Kensi asked.

"He is mine. I think. He does tend to like you more when you're around. You spoil him." Deeks explained.

"I can see why. He is just the sweetest thing." Kensi said to Monty.

"I thought maybe you would enjoy seeing him again. Thought it might help cheer you up." Deeks said.

"We must spend a lot of time together if your dog has his own bed here." Kensi said when she noticed the dog bed in the corner by the tv.

Deeks turned looking at the dog bed Kensi was talking about. God, there was so many things he just wanted to tell her. He wanted so bad to come out and just lay everything out in the open, but he knew now was not the time. He knew he had to be patient, he knew he had to let her figure these things out on her own.

"We do. A lot of nights after work, we hang out ,have dinner, watch movies. You insisted I started bringing Monty with me." Deeks explained.

Kensi looked up to Deeks and smiled. There was something there in her eyes, something he hadn't seen in a long time, there was her beautiful sparkle, her light, her everything he could see in her eyes.

"I did?" She asked.

"You did." Deeks said.

_(Flashback after the end The Job) _

"_I was gonna call but seeing as I was already outside it seemed redundant." Deeks explained. _

"_Come in." Kensi said opening the door to let her partner in._

"_Wow! Did you just get done filming and episode of Hoarders?" _

"_Ha ha." Kensi said as she moved clothes off her couch so they could sit down. _

"_I got a burger for me, and a smoothie for you." Deeks said sitting the bag and the beer down on the table. _

"_I will take a beer." Kensi said grabbing one from the case. _

"_Top Model. Why does every girl watch this show?" Deeks asked. _

"_Because its awesome. They're about to start the judging." _

"_Erica, is trashy." Deeks said out of nowhere, when the silence started getting to him. _

_Kensi curled her feet underneath her as she angled her body so she could face her partner. _

"_Really? I figured you would like her." Kensi said. _

"_Nope. Not my type at all. She is fake, and she tries to hard to be something she is not." Deeks explained. He took a sip of his beer then said , "Danielle is more my type. She is flawless, a natural beauty, she could win this show hands down with out even trying." _

_The two partners sat there most of the night watching Top Model together arguing over who would get kicked off, and who looked great. There was a comfortableness with the two of them that just came naturally in everything they did. It was almost one that morning when Deeks had decided it was time for him to leave. _

"_Hey Kens, I am gonna go ahead and go." Deeks said. _

"_You should stay here, on the couch. You have been drinking you don't need to drive." Kensi suggested. _

"_I will be fine Kens, besides I have to check on Monty let him out and all." _

"_Monty, can wait. In fact I will get him a bed for here, so next time we decided to hang out just go get him after work and he can stay too." Kensi explained. _

"_Really?" _

"_Sure. I like Monty he is great company. Besides it's against the law to drink and drive, and we are the law so that wouldn't be setting a very good example wouldn't it." She said grinning at him._

"_Ok. I will stay if your that worried about me." _

"_You're my partner its my job to keep you safe." Kensi added. _

_(End flashback) _

"Almost every Friday that became our routine." Deeks explained.

"Isn't tonight Friday?" Kensi asked.

"It is."

"So how about you, me Monty and burgers and beers watching Top Model tonight?" Kensi asked.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Deeks said with a grin.

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews I appreciate you all taking your time to leave them. This chapter was just intended to be cute not really much of a point to this one. The next chapters after this the story will pick up. Kensi and Deeks relationship will start to change, and things start becoming familiar to Kensi. Hope you enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9

Deeks checked his watch as he waited for Kensi to come out so they could eat dinner. It had been almost fifteen minuets now, and he was starting to get worried about his girl. He knocked on the bathroom door softly with the back of his finger, "Kens, food is ready."

"Ok, I will be there in a second." Kensi called back.

It didn't take him but about three seconds to catch on, by the sound of her voice, he could tell something wasn't right.

"Kens, what's wrong?" Deeks asked still waiting outside the door.

"I am trying to change the bandage on my side." She whispered as if she was almost embarrassed by this.

"Let me help you." Deeks said.

"Ok." She had whispered it so softly Deeks barely heard her.

Slowly, he opened the door to the bathroom to find Kensi standing at the sink. She had both hands resting on the counter, as she looked at Deeks through the reflection the mirror provided. Her eyes looked red as if she had been crying. Wordlessly, he moved towards her. Once he was standing behind her, he took her by the hips and gently turned her body facing him. Taking the items of the counter she had laid out to clean her side, he began. He looked up to meet her saddened eyes, from his position kneeling on the floor ,"Tell me if it hurts. I will be as gentle as possible." He reassured her. She nodded her head in agreement.

Deeks left one hand resting on her hip, as he very cautiously began to clean her wound. His touch against her tender skin was gentle, and familiar to her. She closed her eyes as the thumb of his right hand brushed gently over her ribs. In her mind she saw a blurry haze of images, she couldn't tell where she was, or what had happened, she saw Deeks with his hand against her ribs almost similar to the way it was now. Kensi opened her eyes, stunned by this realization her body jerked causing Deeks to stop dead in his tracks.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" He asked almost panicking.

"No." Kensi said. Deeks looked up to see a somewhat distance far off look in her eyes.

"Kens, what is it?" He asked.

"I think… never mind." She said shaking her head.

" Tell me Kens, what is it?" Deeks questioned.

"This isn't the first time you have done this is it?"

"Done what?"

Kensi grabbed Deeks hand and placed it back on her ribs just above her cut. "This."

"No, its not the first time. What did you remember Kens?"

"When you were cleaning my side, I saw you and me. I don't know where we were, but you were checking my ribs I think. I don't know. It was kind of like a flash from a dream. Did that ever happen?"

"It did."

_(Flashback) _

"_What's up killer?" Deeks asked. _

_Kensi reached for her gun startled by her partners sudden appearance. _

"_What are you doing here?" _

"_I just came to beat up some bad guys, save the damsel in distress, and ride off into the sunset." Deeks explained. _

_Kensi laughed, regretting it instantly when a sharp pain shot through her side._

"_Oh, don't make me laugh. It feels like somebody's grinding an ice pick in my ribs." _

"_You took a high velocity round to the torso the least you can do is let me take a look at the damage." Deeks said. Kensi mind was elsewhere as she watched through the window. "Kens." He called getting her attention back to him. _

"_I'm not done here yet." She explained. _

_Deeks followed Kensi into the garage of the house. She removed the bullet proof vest she was wearing._

"_So what are you going to do when you catch up the guy who killed your father? Are you going to ask him if he did it? Pull the trigger if he says yes." _

"_What if I do?" Kensi asked as she removed her shirt. _

"_This how the dream sequence usually starts." Deeks said. Kensi glared at him. "Sorry. You have a bruise." Deeks said reaching out to touch her ribs. "Hold your breath." Deeks ordered. _

_He took his thumb and pushed into her ribs, "Oh my God." Kensi said around the pain. _

"_Its just bruised, if it was cracked you would have punctured a lung at that angle." _

_(End flashback) _

"Oh my God." Kensi said.

"You remembered something Kens. Its still in there somewhere, all we have to do is bring it out." Deeks said.

She smiled, proud of herself for finding some memory deep within her and brining it to the surface. She was not surprised that her first memory had Deeks in it, neither was she surprised that it was his touch that triggered her memory. She wouldn't even be surprised if every memory she had was to do with him, she thought to herself.

"You ready to eat now?" Deeks asked.

"Yeah." Kensi said as she followed Deeks out of the bathroom.

"Hey Deeks."

"Yeah."

"Will you do something for me?" Kensi questioned.

"Sure."

"After dinner, will you tell me about my dad?"

Deeks exhaled, he knew this was going to happen sooner or later. He knew he couldn't just keep telling her all her happy memories. As much as he hated to make her relive one of the most painful experiences of her life, he knew she needed to, because it was a huge part of what made her who she is today. At least he would be able to be there, to go through it with her this time around he thought to himself.

"Alright." He agreed.

**A/N: What do you think? Kensi is going to start remembering things a little a time now. Thank you for all your wonderful, loving reviews. I am working on a new story called Fallen Angel, I will try and have the first chapter up maybe later today or tomorrow. **


	10. Chapter 10

Deeks was still hesitant of helping Kensi relive everything that happened to her father, and Kensi was determined to know her past even if it was painful. Deeks stood from the couch and walked over to the bookshelf that Kensi had in the corner near the TV. Kneeling down he retrieved a black book from the third shelf, all the way to the left. Kensi watched him as he walked back towards her. He laid the book down in her lap, and sat back down beside her on the couch. Kensi opened the book and the first page was a picture of her and her father. Kensi looked over to Deeks, a million questions plagued her mind, so many things she wanted to know, needed to know.

"Every picture of him you own is in this book except the one you have at work, and the one right there." He said pointing to a framed picture near the lamp. Kensi turned her attention to the framed picture Deeks pointed out to her. There was a man sitting on the porch swing, with a bright eyed little girl wearing a red dress. Her hair was in the two pigtails with bows on each one. She was looking up at this man loving as he had a book in his lap he appeared to be reading to her. Kensi's heart melted as she took in the scene of the picture. "You were seven." Deeks replied answering her unasked question.

Kensi looked back down the book that was resting in her lap.

"This was the last picture you have of you two together." Deeks explained.

Kensi reached out, with her finger as she traced the picture that was hidden behind the protective sleeve of her book. She was standing by a man dressed in a uniform, she was wearing a white dress. For the longest time she just stared at this photo praying like hell a memory of this man would come to her, but there was nothing. There was no clue to who he was , no memory of how much she loved him.

"How old was I when he died?" She asked looking up to Deeks.

"Fifteen."

"God, I wish I could remember him. Tell me."

"Kens, I.."

"Please Deeks, please tell me how I lost him. I have to know." She begged. Looking up from her book she caught his eyes. He had never seen her eyes so sad, so desperate as they were now. Damn, he couldn't deny her this, he couldn't deny her of her own memory.

"You were fifteen years old. You were living on the base at the time. You told him you wanted to go out at that night with your friends to see Titanic. He told you no. He left you at home that night and went out to have drinks with the men in his unit. So you snuck out and went anyways." Deeks explained. He paused looking over to Kensi. She was captivated by his story, her eyes intense on everything he was saying.

"You snuck back in that night trying to make sure he didn't catch you. He had caught you one time before sneaking back in. You went right to your room and went to bed. The next morning you woke up to a M.P at the door. He was in a car accident. That's what you were told at the time. It wasn't until recently that you found out otherwise." Deeks explained.

He didn't want to go into all the details of her father and his murder, he wanted to take this one step at a time. Deeks knew he would tell her this eventually, he knew she would have to know, but now was not that time. Now, he was just trying to give her a little glimpse into her past, a little idea of her father. Nate had told him many times not to over to do it, not to push her memories on her all at once that it could actually hurt her more then help her if he did that. The last thing in the world he ever wanted to do was hurt this woman beside him.

Deeks looked over to see Kensi in tears. He hated this, he moved over next to Kensi taking her by the shoulders, and laying her head in his lap.

"He loved you more then anything else in the world. You were his everything. He knew how much you loved him." Deeks said . He let his hand wonder underneath the back of her shirt, where he rubbed soothing circles on the bare skin of her lower back. Her body trembled as she cried for the father she had lost. She didn't know if she was crying more because she lost him or because she couldn't remember losing him.

"I wish I had some memory to hold onto, something happy."

Deeks ran his fingers through her long dark hair, "This is one of your favorite memories of him."

_(Flashback Kensi is12 years old) _

"_Momma look." Kensi said as she walked in the front door of their house. _

"_What is it Kensi?" Her mother asked turning around from the sink of dishes she was washing to face her daughter. _

_Kensi held in her arms a tiny black and white kitten. _

"_You are not keeping that." Her mother said, drying her hands off on the dishtowel. _

"_She is not keeping what?" Donald asked as he came downstairs into the kitchen. _

"_Daddy, look what I found isn't he cute." Kensi said handing the little kitten to her father. _

"_He is the cutest." He said. _

"_Can I keep him please daddy?" Kensi begged. _

"_No." Her mother said. _

"_Come on Julia let her have it. Its just one tiny kitten he cant be that much trouble." _

"_Please momma I promise I will take care of him." _

_Julia sighed knowing she had lost this battle. Whenever Kensi and Donald had their minds made up there was no way in not letting them get what they wanted. _

"_Fine." Julia agreed. _

"_Yay. Thank you." Kensi squealed as she ran off with her new kitten. _

(End flashback)

"You loved that cat to death. You named him Zorro, you had him almost four years you told me." Deeks explained.

With her head still resting in his lap, she looked up to Deeks, "Thank you! For giving me something to hold onto."

Deeks reached into his pocket pulling out an item that held so much value to him. He opened Kensi's hand, placed it in her palm, and closed her fingers around the object.

"Why are you giving me a knife?" Kensi asked confused.

"I am not. I'm returning it. It's yours, well its your father's. You gave it to me when I needed it the most, now I think you need it more then me." Deeks explained.

Kensi pushed herself up out of her partners lap, "I gave you my father's knife?" She questioned.

"You did."

"Wow!" Kensi said. She turned the knife she was now holding over in her hand several times, "I must really care about you if I gave you this." She said.

"Sometimes a knife is just a knife." Deeks said using Kensi's own words from that day.

Kensi stopped playing with the knife she had in her hand, she looked up to Deeks with a questioning look in her eyes. Deeks didn't say anything he just watched her as several looks danced a crossed her face at once. He saw confusion and familiarity at the same time played out on her beautiful features. She was thinking so hard Deeks could have sworn he could almost hear the pieces in her mind coming together, trying to figure out what it was that she knew.

"What is it you remember Kensalina?" He asked her, praying there was something there behind that look.

Kensi smiled, "I have a boyfriend." She replied.

Deeks returned her smile and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, "So does my girlfriend." He responded.

**A/N: Here is another little piece of Kensi's memory. What do you think? Thank you so much for the reviews I cant believe how amazing you people are! In the next chapter Kensi will talk to Nate. My new story Fallen Angel has been posted. If you guys check it out, and let me know what you think I would be forever grateful. **


	11. Chapter 11

11:22, the same time it had been the last three times Kensi looked at the clock on the wall. Time was dragging by, and it was slowly driving her insane. She nervously fidget with her hands in her lap, as she waited and waited for what seemed like half of her entire life. The feeling of being here in an office like this, made her uneasy. She felt like a prisoner, she felt confined, and confined Kensi was not good.

"Stop Kens." Deeks said reaching over laying his hand on top of hers.

Kensi stilled the nervous motions of her hands as soon as she felt his hands on her. Instantaneously, she began to relax just by this little contact. She took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly.

"How do you do that?" She asked.

"Do what princess?" He questioned.

"Make everything ok." She replied.

"Magic. And a good magician never reveals his secrets." He replied giving her his 20,000 dollar smile.

Kensi returned his smile and added an eye roll to go along with it. She started absent mindedly running her thumb over the back of Deeks hand while they waited. It didn't seem to bother him, he honestly seemed to be rather enjoying the contact between them.

"Hey Kensi, sorry about keeping you waiting so long. Come on." Nate said, as he opened the door to the room they were currently waiting in.

Kensi turned to Deeks for his encouragement and strength to get her through this. She didn't want to be here, she hated the idea of talking to him. Deeks had insisted that she had trusted Nate, and this may help to bring more of her memories back. Kensi stood, turning to look at Deeks one more time, Deeks nodded his head for her to go on. She smiled at him, then followed Nate through the doorway.

Nate opened the door to his office allowing Kensi to enter the room first. The agent in her kicked in once she was in the room she started taking note of her surroundings. The office itself was small, two windows on the back behind the desk. The desk itself was clean, not cluttered with unnecessary junk. There was a name plate on the corner next to the computer, and a framed photo of Nate and a woman Kensi did not recognize.

"You look great." Nate said laying his stack of papers he had in his hands on the desk.

"Thanks. I'm glad that cast finally came off." Kensi said.

"I imagine it does make things a lot easier." Nate replied. Once he had his papers sorted out he took his seat at his desk.

Kensi didn't say anything. She wasn't sure what she suppose to do honestly. Did she sit there and wait for him to pick her brain? Was she suppose to volunteer information or ask questions? She thought to herself. She nervously twisted her hair between her fingers why she waited for him to say something.

"How are you doing Kensi?"

"Sick of people asking me how I am doing." Kensi said.

Nate laughed amused by Kensi's reply.

"Same old Kensi. I will make this as fast as possible for you, so you can get on with your life."

"My mind is all yours. Or what is left of it." Kensi said, with a smile.

"Do you know how you lost your memory?" Nate asked.

"No."

"You never asked the nurses in the hospital, or Deeks how you ended up there, Why?" Nate questioned.

"Why would you watch the end of a movie before you understand the beginning?" Kensi answered.

"You know you cant answer my questions with a question, that is not how this works." Nate said.

"Then how does this work?" She asked.

"Kensi."

"Fine, no more questions." She agreed.

"What is that makes you trust your partner more then anyone else?"

Kensi thought about this for a moment, sometimes she wondered this herself, sometimes she was pretty she already knew the answer to this. "He was there when I woke up. He was the first person I saw beside me. I had know idea who he was, but when I looked up at him there was something familiar about him. Something told me I could trust him, I could count on him, that he would always have my back."

"Other then Deeks do you feel like that about anyone? Do you feel close to anyone else the way you do him?" Nate asked.

"Nell and I seem to be really close." Kensi said.

Nate wrote down what Kensi had been telling him, he knew exactly why she was so close to Deeks, they all did. Nate didn't want anyone to tell her why they were the way they were. This was something he insisted she figure out on her own.

"Does anything ever seem familiar? Do you remember anything?" Nate asked looking up from the folder he had just previously been writing in.

"Only twice. It was kind of like a flash from a dream more then a memory the first time, but it was something that had happened before." Kensi explained.

"And what brought on these memories?" Nate questioned.

"Deeks." She replied.

"What is it about him that makes you remember things?" Nate questioned.

"He is my partner, he knows me better then anyone else."

"What is it that makes your partnership different from Sam and Callen?"

Kensi laughed, "I'm a hot chick with a gun, and Sam is not."

Nate couldn't help but laugh at this. "What is the one ingredient that makes your partnership unique?"

Kensi thought about this, what was it that made them special? What was it about Deeks touch that could trigger her memories she had long forgotten? What was it about his words, that seemed to reach right out to her, and pull her back in a moment in time? Why did she trust him? Her mind was a conflicting mess of unanswered questions right now, but her heart, her heart deep down knew all these answers and more.

"I don't know." Kensi replied softly.

"When you figure that out, everything else will become clear." Nate explained to her.

Nate could read Kensi clear as day. He knew she knew exactly what he was talking about. He knew she felt it, and knew that she needed to trust what she felt to bring her out of this.

**A/N: I just want to say thank you to all of you wonderful, amazing, loving people, who are leaving me the sweetest reviews. I love you all. The support and encouragement for this story has been incredible. Please keep them coming.**


	12. Chapter 12

Deeks and Monty impatiently waited near the door for Kensi to finish getting ready so they could leave. Monty whined, his patience were growing thin. He was already on his leash and he knew this meant he was about to get to go somewhere. Deeks turned when he heard Kensi come out of her bedroom. She was wearing a light blue sundress, with her beach bag thrown over her shoulder, her hair was braided in two braids.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me all day or are you ready to go?" Kensi questioned.

"As much as I would love to stand here and stare at you all day, I think the others will be wondering where we are by now since someone took all morning to get herself ready." Deeks explained.

"Its not my fault that someone couldn't remember where her stuff from last summer was, and you had to keep telling me."

"I could have done more then tell you. I offered to help you get dressed remember?" Deeks joked.

"I remember all eleven times." She said rolling her eyes at him.

"What? I was just trying to help." He said giving her his best puppy dog eyes.

"Help yourself more likely." Kensi added.

Deeks shrugged his shoulders. The two of them kept up their bickering nearly the entire way to the beach. It was almost as if these two never ran out of things to bicker about.

"Kensi." Nell called out from her spot in the sand when she saw the two partners approaching her. Kensi smiled at Nell as they made their way towards her.

"Hey Deeks. Hi Monty." Nell said reaching out and taking the leash from Deeks. "Eric is already surfing, and Sam and Callen are here somewhere." Nell explained to Deeks.

Deeks looked down to Kensi who was currently sitting on the blanket next to Nell playing with Monty. "Kens."

"Yeah." She said looking up to him. Looking at her looking up at him, her eyes so full of life, her smile intoxicating, Deeks almost forgot what he was going to say to her. Thankfully, she read him just as well as he did her.

"I'm good, go." She said encouraging him to go surf with Eric. Deeks nodded his head and took off towards the ocean.

"Tell me how is it going with him?" Nell said eagerly once Deeks was out of earshot of the them.

"With Deeks?"

"No with Callen, of course Deeks who else?" Nell said.

Kensi laughed at her friend, "Its fine. He is very helpful to a point of annoying. He encourages me to remember things and drives me insane doing it. He is.." Kensi stopped herself mid sentence, then watching Deeks in the ocean she smiled. Nell watched Kensi silently as the realization hit her friend head on. "He is everything." She said barley above a whisper.

"I knew you would figure it out." Nell said grinning at her friend.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kensi asked Nell.

"Right now you don't have a memory so you cant trust your memories to guide you. Its like when someone goes blind and cant see all of sudden they can hear twenty times better then they ever could before. So I knew when you lost your memory, your heart would take over, and make things twenty times clearer." Nell explained.

"You have been spending way to much time around Hetty." Kensi said.

Deeks watched the girls laughing and giggling with Monty on the shore. He couldn't help but to be captivated by her. Every since the day he met her all those years ago there was something about her that sucked him in and refused to let go. He loved her to death, he loved her laugh, her body, her heart, everything, she was everything. He didn't know if she would ever get her memory back. He didn't know if she would ever remember loving him. What he did know, was he was bound and determined to create their love story all over , and hope she would fall in love with him all over again. She turned and caught his eye for a brief moment, she smiled tilting her head to the side and biting on her lower lip, how could anyone be so perfect, Deeks thought to himself. Kensi turned her attention back to Nell.

Deeks stood up from his surf board that he was currently sitting on, "Come here Kensalina." He shouted to her. He had an evil look in his eye as he made his way towards Kensi. "Come on." He said to her as he made his way right to the shoreline.

"No."

"You're going surfing with me." Deeks said with an evil grin as he stalked closer towards Kensi and Nell.

"I'm wearing a dress."

"With a bikini underneath. Take it off or its going to get wet. " Deeks said with an arched eyebrow to her.

"I cant surf." Kensi replied.

"Yes you can." Nell chimed in.

"You're not helping." Kensi said to her friend.

"Yes I am." Nell responded.

Without giving her so much as a warning Deeks charged forward to Kensi taking her by the waist and running towards the water with her.

"You better not put me in the water in this dress." Kensi squealed.

"You had your chance to take it off it princess." Deeks explained.

Deeks knew he was going to get his ass kicked for this later, but right now he would enjoy it. Deeks made it to the ocean surf then when they had reached about waist deep he let go of Kensi and dropped her straight into the water.

"He is dead." Eric said.

"If I was Deeks I would start running." Sam said.

"She is probably just going to shot him." Callen added.

"We'll see." Nell replied with a sneaky grin.

Sam, Callen, and Eric all turned their attention to Nell. Who was still watching Kensi and Deeks bright eyed.

"What do you know?" Eric asked.

Nell turned to look at the boys, "Something you don't."

Kensi stood up from the water. She turned her back to Deeks and untied the strings that were holding her dress in place. She slipped the dress down her body, then turned her attention back to Deeks. He was standing there taking in the sight of his beautiful partner, when an evil gleam came into her eyes. She pulled her braided hair over her shoulder as she one by one undid her braids. Once they were undone she shook her head letting her lose wavy hair fall free. Deeks watched this display Kensi was putting on, and he knew she was up to something. She gracefully moved towards him, till they were standing face to face in the water. Kensi rested the palms of her hands on Deeks chest, she licked her lips, then looked up to him.

"Still want me to surf with you?" She asked.

Deeks nodded his head, right now he was left utterly speechless. Kensi pushed herself off his body and into the ocean.

"If you catch me, I'm all yours detective." She replied as she swam away.

"Ok that just happened." Deeks said to himself. Never one to back down from a challenge he dived in the water after his crazy beautiful partner.

**A/N: Sorry to end this chapter here it was getting really long. The next chapter will pick up right after this one. As always thank you amazing people for the reviews. I love you guys. **


	13. Chapter 13

The remaining team members watched from the shore as Kensi and Deeks acted like a couple of love sick teenagers. Deeks grabbed Kensi by the waist lifting her up out of the water only to toss her back in again.

"This is different." Callen said gesturing to Kensi and Deeks. "I'm mean I know that they… that there.. O for the love of God people don't make me say it." Callen said rubbing his forehead in frustration with his team.

"I thought she lost her memory not her mind." Sam added.

"Maybe she has finally found herself." Nell added.

"We have got to get you out more." Eric replied.

After nearly two hours in the water Kensi and Deeks finally returned to shore to join the rest of their team. Both were panting and out of breath when they had made it to the shore. Deeks grabbed a blanket and threw it out for them along the sand.

"Here Kens." Deeks said.

"Thanks." She said as flopped her tired body down onto the blanket her partner had provided.

"Not too bad in the water there Kens." Deeks said sitting down next to her.

"Thank you." Kensi and Deeks seemed to be clueless at the way the rest of their team was currently watching them. They seemed to be forgetting anyone else besides them existed.

"I'm going to get an ice cream. Anyone want?" Eric asked.

"Yes please." Nell said.

"Yeah, I will go with you." Kensi said getting up from her position on the blanket.

"Deeks you want?" Kensi asked.

"Sure, I want.."

"I know what you want." Kensi said as she turned and walked off with Eric.

"You were great out there on the waves today." Eric said to Kensi as they waited in line to order their ice creams.

"Thanks. I didn't even know I could surf till Nell told me."

"You can, and you have gotten really good at it. Deeks is a great teacher." Eric explained.

"Deeks taught me how to surf? Why am I not surprised. I'd love to remember that one I bet it was a disaster." Kensi said.

"At first it was, and I happened to be there to witness it."

_(Flashback) _

"_Kens, your not holding your balance right. You're going to keep wiping out every time if you keep going at it like that." Deeks explained from the water watching Kensi. _

"_I know what I'm doing." Kensi said, as she climbed back on her board to attempt to catch another wave. _

_It took about all of twenty five seconds before Kensi fell off again. "Stubborn." Deeks mumble to Eric as he swam over to Kensi. _

_Deeks put one arm on each side of Kensi as she held onto the surf board. _

"_Get on the board." Deeks said. _

_Kensi did as her partner instructed her to, and climbed onto the surf board. Once Kensi was laying on her stomach on the board Deeks moved around behind her getting onto the board as well. _

"_What are you doing?" Kensi asked._

"_Teaching you something for once. Relax." Deeks explained. _

_When the next wave came at them Deeks gave the orders for Kensi to follow. They waited till just the right time to catch the wave, Deeks reached down placing both his hands on top of Kensi's hands and intertwined their fingers. _

"_Stand up." Deeks ordered. _

_Once Kensi was on her feet Deeks reached out showing her how to stand to keep her balance. Letting go of one of her hands he grabbed her hip and turned her body in the direction that the wave was currently taking them. Once they had rode the wave to the shore Deeks turned to Kensi, "You just have to feel it up." He said. _

"_What?" Kensi asked. _

"_The waves Kensalina, what were you thinking?" _

"_Nothing." She said suddenly embarrassed by the place her mind had gone. _

"_I bet you were." Deeks grinned when he noticed the blush on Kensi's face._

_(End Flashback)_

"After that one brief surf lesson you pretty much had it down." Eric explained.

"Really?" Kensi asked.

"Yeah you were a natural." Eric said.

Kensi and Eric returned to the group about fifteen minuets later.

"About time." Deeks said sitting up to take his ice cream out of Kensi's hands.

" Oh stop complaining." Kensi said.

Once the ice creams had been handed out Kensi returned to her spot on the blanket next to Deeks. Since she decided to go for a chocolate shake instead of an ice cream, she laid back on the towel closing her eyes and enjoying this moment. The warm rays of the California sun beamed down on her body, she smiled as her friends joked and laughed with each other. This moment was perfect, this was one memory she was glad she would have. Deeks leaned over Kensi, "Don't go to sleep." He teased.

"You wouldn't shut up long enough for that to happen." She joked. Deeks was so distracted by his banter with his partner that he totally forgot he had been holding an ice cream till it dripped on Kensi's stomach.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" She leaned up, propping herself up on her elbows so she could glare at Deeks.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, get it off me its cold." Kensi ordered.

"With what?" Deeks questioned.

"I don't know. Figure it out."

"Ok." Deeks said as he gave Kensi his I'm up to something devious smile.

"Don't you dare." Kensi said when she caught up to his plan of action.

"Oh I dare." Deeks said as lowered his head to Kensi stomach.

He looked up locking eyes with his partner then licked the melted ice cream off her stomach. Kensi bit into her lip hard to keep from whimpering at the feel of Deeks tongue on her stomach. When all the ice cream was gone from her well defined stomach Deeks lifted his head and looked at Kensi who still had her eyes closed.

"Am I interrupting something?" Nell asked as she approached.

"Aren't you always." Deeks mumbled to himself as he put some space between himself and Kensi.

"We are about to head off for the day. Are you two ready?" Nell asked.

"Yes." Kensi said quickly as she jumped to her feet, and started gathering their things.

**A/N: Thank you! 114 reviews I am completely blown away by this. Each and everyone of you are amazing, loving, wonderful people. To answer the question are Eric and Nell together in my story, yes they are. **


	14. Chapter 14

Deeks tossed and turned restlessly that night, sleep seemed impossible at the moment. Everything he had ever wanted, everything he has ever had, was laying in her bed across the hall asleep, completely clueless. He wanted more then anything to be in that bed by her side, to have her warm body pressed against his, to have her snoring in his ear and hogging all the covers. God, he wanted those days back. Deeks rolled over to his back looking up at the ceiling. He was just about to close his eyes and attempt to sleep again, when he heard Kensi. At first he thought she was just talking in her sleep like normal, but then she cried out for him, a helpless horrifying cry. Deeks climbed out of bed and made his way across the hall to Kensi's room.

"Kens." He said as he tapped on her door. She didn't respond. Honestly he didn't really think she would. "I'm opening the door Kens, don't shot me." He explained just incase she was awake.

He cracked the door open to find Kensi laying on her stomach(the way she slept most nights), but he could tell she was having a nightmare. Deeks had spent enough time by her side to know how she slept when she was happy, when she was angry, and when she was terrified. This was defiantly terrified Kensi. Deeks kneeled down beside the bed, reaching out he took the back of his hand and brushed gently across her jaw. "Wake up Princess, its only a dream." He whispered tenderly to her.

Kensi was confused as she woke from her dream to the reality of Deeks gentle touch to her jaw. Kensi tried to remember what she was dreaming, Deeks watched her as he continued to rub his fingers across her jaw. Then all of a sudden Kensi sat straight up in the bed, and looked horrified.

"Its ok Kens, it was only a nightmare." Deeks explained.

"No it wasn't. It was real." Kensi said.

Deeks sat down on the bed next to Kensi, "Usually I am really good at following you Kens, but its two in the morning and I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about." Deeks said. Kensi turned her head to the side, hesitating for a brief moment, she reached out to Deeks and ran her fingers across his jaw mirroring what he had just been doing to her only minuets before.

"You were hurt." She said as she traced his jaw line with her fingertips. Deeks put his hand on top of Kensi's to still her movements. He closed his eyes at the feel of her touch on his face, he nuzzled gently against her hand. "I'm ok." He said.

"But you weren't. Were you? Something.. No someone hurt you. Didn't they?" Kensi questioned.

"Kensi." Deeks pleaded with her. He was begging her to drop this, praying like hell she would let this one go. But knowing Kensi the way he did, he knew it wasn't going to play out like that. He decided there would be no getting around this, no avoiding the subject, she was to stubborn for that. "What did you see?" He asked.

"We were somewhere dark, I don't know where it was. You were hurt, it was your face or your mouth um..I don't really know. There was blood all over the place, and you were so afraid. You called out to me to help you. But I never did. Did I?"

"You did what you had to do." He replied.

Kensi shook her head, "No! The hell with doing what I had to do, I should have done what I needed to do. What I wanted to do. I wanted to save you."

"You always save me Kens. You're the only thing that got me out of that place." Deeks explained. He could see Kensi was getting upset, he could see so much near the surface it was heartbreaking for him to watch this.

"Did I? Did I safe you? I cant remember." She said as she started to cry. "I cant see anything besides you. Your face, your fear, it's all I can see. All I can hear is your god awful screams as you cry out for me. So tell me please, tell me how I saved you." She desperately begged.

_(Flashback ) _

"_Hey." Kensi said as she entered the bullpen. _

"_Hey." Deeks answers back. _

"_What are you doing?" Kensi asked, as she noticed he was packing up his things from his locker. _

"_I don't know, I was just cleaning some stuff out, but I don't know." _

"_Listen I know what you're going through." Kensi said. _

"_I really hope that you never do." Deeks said honestly. _

"_If you want to talk about it, or not talk at all, I am here for you." _

"_I just want to take some time away from everything." _

"_And everyone?" Kensi asked broken hearted. "Right." She said when she didn't get a response from her partner. You could see the disappointment in her eyes, as she turned away from him. _

"_Kens." Deeks called out. He couldn't stand the look on her face. He didn't think he had ever seen her so disappointed as she was now. After everything they had been through, and everything they had shared, what was one more thing he thought to himself. _

"_Yeah." She answers turning back around to face her partner. _

"_I just want you to know, the place I went to in my head ,to stop the pain was you. I just kept thinking about your smile, your laugh, everything. It's the only thing that got me through. I just thought you should know. For whatever its worth." Deeks explained. _

_(End flashback) _

"That is how you saved me. Everyday you save me Kens, because your you, because you're here." He admitted to her.

She didn't know what came over in the next moment, she didn't know what had given her the courage to do it. Still sitting in her bed, she moved herself to where she was sitting on her knees, and facing Deeks. She leaned into him, grabbed his face, and kissed him. Deeks didn't hesitate, he didn't question her actions, he threaded is fingers in her hair and brought her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and straddled his lap. His hands went instinctively to her hips. It didn't take long for their kiss to get heated. Deeks pulled back first and was greeted with the sight of his wide eyed partner.

"That is not the first time I have kissed you." She said. She let her tongue dart out over her bottom lip to savor the taste of him that was still lingering there.

"No its not." Deeks said.

Kensi pressed her forehead against his, she ran her fingers through his blonde hair, then whispered in his ear, "This is not the first time you will have ever made love to me either is it?" She questioned. She looked at him square in the eye, her passion evident in that single look she shared with him.

"Kens, as much as I want to, and God do I want to. I think we should wait till you get your memory back and can remember us." Deeks explained as he his thumbs gently rubbed the exposed flesh over her lower stomach that her shirt left exposed.

Kensi reached down taking one of Deeks hands off her hips, and placed it over her heart. "My memory may have left you, but my heart, she is a fixed point. Its been with you since the beginning, and will be as long as I can tell." She explained.

Deeks leaned in capturing her lips. This time it wasn't gentle, this time it wasn't sweet, it was passionate and filled with need and desire. She bit down on his bottom lip tugging at it gently with her teeth, as his hands began to wonder over her body. Deeks trailed kisses from her jaw, down her collarbone and to the top of her breasts that her tank top left him accesses to. Kensi whimpered as her partner skillfully assaulted her neck. He pushed down the strap of her top so he could suck at a particularly sensitive spot he knew she loved. She grabbed onto to his shoulders ,as he found that exact spot that turned her into a whimpering mess at the slightest touch of his mouth against her heated skin.

"Are you sure about this Kens." Deeks asked taking his lips away from her neck.

"I am sure about you. Now stop talking." She said breathlessly.

"You got it." Deeks agreed.

**A/N: I can not say thank you enough times to all of you who keep supporting me. The reviews I am getting on this story are so incredible. I honestly never thought I would reach this many reviews. Thank you all so so much. I love you guys. **


	15. Chapter 15

Deeks laid there happily content as he played with the ends of Kensi's hair that was splayed out across his chest. Having her back in his arms like this was the most amazing thing in the world to him, it was home.

"Good morning gorgeous." He said to her, when she lifted her head from his chest to look at him.

"Morning." She says shyly and lays her head back down on his chest.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Perfect. I was just thinking." She said.

"About what?"

"My memory." She said as she traced patterns on his chest. "What if it never comes back? What if all I ever get are little bits and pieces here and there?"

"Then I will take what we can get." He said. He let his hand trail over her bare shoulder then leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"What if everything we ever did, ever memory we ever shared is lost?" She asked.

"Nothing is ever lost until the day you stop fighting for it. I will recreate every moment I have shared with you, every argument, every case we have ever worked, every touch, everything if that is what you need. I will do anything in this world for you. I don't care if your memory never comes back at all. It doesn't change anything. Your still you, you're still my girl." Deeks confessed.

Kensi moved back to her own pillow so she could lay face to face with Deeks. His blue eyes sparkled with a happiness, with desire, with love. Most of the times she wouldn't believe words like this coming from any man's mouth, but something inside of her told her he spoke these words with the up most truth in them.

"Were you always this much of romantic?" She asked.

"Only when it comes to you."

Kensi smiled at his kind words, this man, this man was one of a kind. She didn't know much right now, in fact she knew little of nothing if she was being honest with herself, but what she did know was she wanted every moment, every new memory from here until forever to be with this man who laid beside her now. The room fell silent as the two lovers laid in each others arms.

"Deeks." She whispered.

"Yes Princess?"

"I want to know." She said.

Deeks exhaled, "Kens, are you sure you are ready for that? Its only been four months?"

"Nate, said it might help for me to retrieve my memory. Please, I want you to be the one to do it. I need you to be the one who tells me. It's time Deeks. It's time for me to know. I have to do this." She explained.

"Alright. Get dressed. If we are going to do this, we are going to do it all the way. I want to take you there, I want to show you." Deeks replied.

She sat up in her bed, wrapping the red sheet around her body. "Ok. Take me there."

"Ok." Deeks replied.

Deeks had talked to Nate about this many times on many different occasions. He knew sooner or later that this was going to have to be done. Nate wanted to take Kensi out there right away and make her relive the moment she lost her memory. Deeks ordered Nate he was not to do that until she was ready. He knew Kensi better then anyone, hell right know he knew her better then she knew herself. Just like he said she would he knew she would ask when the time was right. Now or never, he thought to himself. As much as he didn't want to relive the moment to almost cost him his entire world, it was something that had to be done. Something she deserved to know, he owed her this after everything she has lost.

**A/N: **


	16. Chapter 16

Deeks parked the SUV on the side of the highway near the beach. He exited the vehicle, making his away around to Kensi's side. Once she was out of the SUV she looked around taking in their surroundings. She felt a cold chill run through body, as she took in this area. Dread and fear quickly start over powering her emotions.

"Where are we?" Kensi asked.

"Interstate 110 North to downtown Los Angeles. Exit eight to Redondo Beach." Deeks explained. He reached down taking Kensi's hand. He didn't know if he was holding her hand to give her courage, or to give him courage to do this for her. Maybe it was both. "Ready?" He asked looking to her. She nodded her head. "Come on." He said as the two of them began to walk.

"This was the most terrifying day of my life, and I have had some bad ones. Shooting my dad, getting shot, getting tortured, it was nothing compared to the hell of seeing this." Deeks explained, as they continued to walk hand in hand.

"Sam almost had to drag me away from here. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to let you out of my sight. I didn't have a choice though when they loaded you into the ambulance. All I could think was that was the last time I was ever going to see you again. The thought was unbearable to me." Deeks explained.

They stopped at the exit ramp. Looking down underneath it you could see the beach from here. "This was where it all happened, this is where I almost lost you." Deeks said, he brought their intertwined hands up and placed a kiss on the back of Kensi's hand.

_(Flashback end of Frozen Lake)_

"_Oh come on, I broke every traffic law imaginable and she is already gone?" Deeks asked Hetty as he came strolling into the mission searching for Kensi. _

_Hetty didn't say anything, she just looked to Deeks with a look that terrified him to his soul. "Where is she Hetty?" _

"_Callen and Sam are on the way back here. They had just left ." _

"_I didn't ask you about Callen and Sam. Where is Kensi?" He demanded. _

"_Your partner was reassigned with Assistant Director Granger, for a classified mission. They were leaving out tonight." _

"_What? Wait, what do you mean was?" Deeks asked. His heart started to race, he could feel the air slipping from his lungs as if someone was beating him to death. _

"_There was an accident. The car that was transporting her and Granger to the airstrip. It was involved in a collision on 110 North, Exit eight. The car was slung off the ramp." _

"_No." Deeks shouted. _

"_I am sorry Mr. Deeks, I don't know anything else, I don't if she is…"_

"_NO! Don't you say those words to me!" Deeks screamed to Hetty. _

"_Deeks. Lets go!" Sam shouted from the door. Deeks turned and took off running when he heard Sam's call. _

_The three boys drove in silence nearly the entire way. Sam kept watching Deeks in the mirror. _

"_Do we know if.. If she." _

"_Don't know anything except the location." Callen interjected. Callen had always been good at keeping his emotions under control, but tonight Deeks could see they were starting to slip. He had never seen Callen afraid before today. Come to think of it, he had never really seen Callen show any kind of emotion ever. Deeks knew how the senior agents felt about Kensi, this was their little sister, this was their family. _

_When they pulled up at the scene Deeks thought he was going to have a heart attack at the site before him. He felt the entire world stop, everything just seemed to fade away. Sam and Callen were speaking to him, but he couldn't hear them over the frantic god awful sound of his own beating heart. _

"_Dear God." Callen said looking to Sam. _

"_Do you want stay here till…" _

"_Not a chance in hell I'm staying in the car." Deeks replied._

_The three of them approached the scene. Callen went over to the ambulance driver, showing him his badge. _

"_What happened? Our agents were in this car." He explained to the man. _

"_Well from what has been gathered so far, it appears they were coming off the exit ramp and were hit in the driver side of the car causing it to be slung off the ramp."_

"_What is the status of the people in the car?" Callen asked. _

"_One fatality. I'm sorry." _

_Deeks closed his eyes, he couldn't process he couldn't even imagine it being her. _

"_Who was it?" Deeks was barely able to get the words out of his mouth. _

"_I don't know the name sir." He replied to Deeks._

"_Make it simple, male or female?" Sam asked. _

"_Male fatality." _

"_Where is she?" Deeks asked. _

"_She was just loaded into the ambulance. They're about to transport her to Pacific Beach Medical." He explained._

"_Come on. Lets go meet him there." Sam said. _

"_I am not leaving her not now." _

"_Deeks there is nothing you can do for Kensi right now. You need to let them get her to hospital so she stands a chance. Lets go." Sam said. _

_Deeks just continued to stare at the ambulance, "He is right, lets go we need to be there when she is brought in. She is going to be asking for you first, and you know it." Callen reminded him. _

_(End Flashback)_

"It was the worst feeling in my entire life. When we made it to scene they were just loading up the wreckage of the car. There was glass everywhere, the car was crushed, it was, it was.. I don't even know how to explain to you what it was like. I just watched my entire life flash before my eyes." Deeks said as he turned to face her.

"The moment I met you in that MMA gym, the first case we worked together, our trip into the desert, Romania, dancing with you, kissing you, everything. It was like a movie, all of these moments with you just played through my mind. I didn't know what I would do if they would have told me that it was you who died that night. I couldn't process my life without you. I refused to see a day with out you in it." Deeks explained.

"You're not getting rid of me that easy." She said.

"I would be lost without you." Deeks said.

"I am pretty sure that was suppose to be my line." Kensi replied with a smile.

"Come on. Lets walk the beach." Deeks said taking her hand back into his.

For the longest time he had always wondered about his life. He had always wondered who he was meant to become. Everyone always told him that everything happens for a reason, so many times he has wondered what that reason was. All the pain and suffering in his life he had been through, all the darkness he had suffered brought him to the light. To her. For him she was his angel, his light in the dark, his hope in the cruel world, she was everything. Without her there was nothing for him. He decided in that moment that he could wait anymore. He didn't want to let a another day go by without telling her how he felt.

**A/N: The next chapter will pick up right where this one left off. Thank you again for all of these reviews. I love you guys more then you know. Please tell me what you all think. **


	17. Chapter 17

"Kens, I have to tell you something. I don't know how you're going to feel about this, but I need you to know. I have tried to wait, and be patient, but I just cant go another second without telling you." Deeks explained.

"You know you can tell me anything. I trust you." Kensi replied.

"We have never been good at saying what we mean. In fact our communications has always sucked. I know you don't remember that, and maybe this our chance to start over. I don't know if you will ever remember who you are, or what we have been through. I don't know if you will ever remember loving me, but you did. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to be loved by you. I love you Kensi."

Even though her mind had no memory of loving him, her heart clearly did. She didn't say anything, she didn't know what to say. For a brief second Deeks was afraid he may have said to much to soon.

"I have had this feeling all along that I have always loved you in one way or another. I wanted to tell you that day at the beach, that morning I woke up in yours arms, but I was afraid." Kensi admitted.

"Afraid of what?" Deeks asked.

"That maybe I was crazy. That maybe you might not feel the same way about me. I just had to make sure you wanted me the way I wanted you." She admitted.

"I have always wanted you." Deeks replied.

Kensi smiled at his confession, "I love you." She whispered barley loud enough for him to hear.

"What happens next?" Deeks asked, as he reached out and traced her jaw with his fingertips.

Kensi closed her eyes at the feel of his touch against her. She smiled the biggest smile Deeks, has seen since she lost her memory. She opened her eyes and said, "Its a love story."

Deeks froze, he was left utterly speechless at this.

"Deeks." She said with tears in her mismatched eyes.

"Kens?" He asked hopeful.

She nodded her head yes, as happy tears broke free from her uncontrollably. Deeks rushed forward taking her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck so tightly she thought she would was going to choke him.

"Oh my God Deeks! I feel like I have been gone for so long. I missed you." She cried. Kensi reached out and cupped his face in between her hands, "I thought I would never find my way back to you."

Deeks covered her hands that were still resting on his face with his own, then leaned in and kissed her like he has never kissed her before. They didn't break free from each others tempting lips until the need for air became urgent. Deeks dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist, and he cried tears of joy to have his world given back to him.

"Thank you" He mumbled over and over again into her stomach. Kensi ran her fingers through his golden sun kissed hair. She didn't know who he was thanking maybe God, maybe her, maybe himself, hell maybe the whole world.

"You're really back?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Tell me, the moment you fell in love with me. It's my favorite memory." Deeks replied.

(_Flashback) _

_A knock on his front door caused him to jump up suddenly from the couch. The couch that for the past three weeks has turned into his favorite place in the world. When he made it to the front door he found his partner standing on his doorstep. _

"_Hey, I have been calling." She said as she walked into his house. _

"_Yeah, uh, my phone must be off." He said trying to make an excuse for not answering her calls. _

"_Look what reopened." Kensi said as she held up the bag of takeout. _

"_Is that Yummy Yummy Heart Attack?" Deeks asked shutting the door Kensi had just entered through. _

"_Yep! Three F's from the health department and still going strong." She explained. _

"_Yeah if F stood for fabulous. Do you want me to get drinks?" Deeks asked. _

"_No. I have got you covered my friend." Kensi said as she placed the six pack on the table. _

"_Yeah you do. One day you're going to make someone the perfect personal assistant. What is this?" Deeks asked reaching into the bag laying on the table._

"_Its nothing." _

"_You got me a cronut?" He asked holding the pastry up. _

"_I did, but its been sitting out there a while. So, don't eat it." Kensi said as she took the pastry out of his hand to throw it away. _

"_No. Don't throw it away I will probably still eat that." Deeks replied. _

"_You're so weird. So Burnt Offerings in on at 11." _

"_I don't know if I am up for a movie." _

"_Oh yes you are." Kensi said taking her boots off and curling her feet up on his couch. _

"_I thought you loved horror movies?" Deeks asked. _

"_I do, just not by myself. Watch it with me. Watch it with me." Kensi pleaded with her partner. _

"_You won me over with the pastry baby." Deeks replied. _

"_Ok." _

"_You wanna use my cat pillow?" Deeks asked her. _

"_Its pink. Very masculine. Alright, so Oliver Read and Karen Black move into the this mansion with the care taker played by Betty Davis who I absolutely love, and their son.." Kensi noticed her partner was starting to fall asleep "And flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz come in with guns and there is a big shoot out." Kensi said sarcastically when she realized her partner was no longer listening to her. She moved her body down on the couch, so they were now laying shoulder to shoulder. _

"_What happens next?" She asked._

"_It's a love story." He whispered._

_(End Flashback) _

"Damn right it is." Deeks said. He reached over wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

Kensi wrapped her arm around his waist as the two of them continued to walk the shoreline of the beach. Kensi felt like she had been given a second chance at life, at love, at everything. She turned her head to the left and smiled at Deeks.

"What are you thinking about gorgeous?" Deeks questioned.

"About how lucky I am." She replied.

"Yeah? How is that?"

"Some people go their entire life without ever falling in love, without ever feeling half of what I feel for you now. And here I am lucky enough to fall in love twice in a lifetime, with the same person."

"I could fall in love with you a million times and it would never be enough for me. Reliving every moment we spent together, telling you our life I realized something." Deeks admitted.

"What is that?" Kensi asked.

"I want to spend everyday for the rest of my life loving you." Deeks explained.

"Well that works out perfectly then. Because it just so happens that I want to spend everyday of the rest of my life being loved by you." She admitted.

"We make a good team." Deeks said.

"We always have."

"Touche Kensalina." He said with his trademark grin, "Now, lets get out of here. I have a better idea on things to do with you then walk the beach."

"Really? Tell me?" Kensi asked.

"I was kind of planning on showing instead." He said with an arched eyebrow.

"Then lets go home and make new memories." Kensi replied.

Memories are moments cherished in our life. Sometimes it's something simple like meeting someone for the first time. Sometimes its something important like falling in love. Every memory taken together is what makes us who we are, who we were, and everything we will ever be. With out these memories we are nothing, we are just a vacant shell of emptiness. Cherish every second, every moment, because in the end every memory counts. These memories of us are all we have when the day is done.

**A/N: Thank you for everyone who has followed me through this journey. This story has been my favorite so far to write. Thank you every single one of you who have left me a review and has taken your time to read this. I hope you enjoyed this story. Remember to tell the people you love how you feel, don't take any moment in life for granted, we are never promised tomorrow so make the best out of today. **

** -Love to all **

** Britt**


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